


I just called to say ''I Love You''

by FangirlOfMany57



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Car Accidents, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, My First Work in This Fandom, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 15:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17530958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlOfMany57/pseuds/FangirlOfMany57
Summary: What was supposed to be the phone call that could change it all didn't go as planned, and now Sho lives with the hurt of the words that never did make it.





	I just called to say ''I Love You''

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO!
> 
> It's been a year since I've properly written something AND had the intention of uploading it here.  
> Anyway, enough of my rambling! This is my first ever fic in this fandom so I'm pretty nervous that the first one is a pretty angsty fic but I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> //dedicated to Kristal because I finally found a friend who sings the tune of my heart that is angst, fluff and the Christmas coloured pair that is Sakuraiba//

The fast-paced slip into January had gone unnoticed for the 5 men that were currently filming the upcoming week's episode of Arashi Ni Shiyagare. After a long day of pop quizzes, food testing, jokes and banters, everyone has gotten their fill of social interaction and were understandably tuckered out from the session. Even if it was only the second week of January, it didn't mean any less of a hectic schedule for Arashi; with their 'and more!' dates made public, it was keeping them constantly on their toes. With a chorus of 'Otsukaresamadeshita' accompanied by polite nodding and bowing, everyone headed towards the changing room to slip back into their own clothes and were ready to call it a night.

The clock showed 11 in the evening - Nino had belly flopped onto the sofa, Ohno was quietly packing his things, Jun was taking out his contacts, Aiba was fumbling around his bag in search of something and Sho was texting his manager. The silent harmony was interrupted by a faint grumbling sound, or more specifically, Sho's stomach demanding food. Aiba looked up at Sho who was now wearing a sheepish grin on his face, muttering a small 'whoops, sorry' before turning his attention back to his phone. Aiba couldn't help but grin at the adorable sight before him. It was no secret that Sho got hungry really easily, even if they had a pretty heavy meal a few hours before. It was one of the many little traits of Sho that he's found himself to grow more and more fond of as the days go by. Could it be the whole 20 years of seeing Sho change from a rather intimidating, rebellious teenager to the dorky and still charming-as-ever man he's become? Or perhaps it was the increase of skin ship between them when filming and even during the concerts? Whatever it was, Aiba was enjoying the warm, fuzzy feeling whenever he's close to Sho. Aiba considered himself to be a pretty loving and easy going guy; there was not one person in his close circle of friends that he wasn't affectionate with. But slowly, Sho has begun to catch his attention differently. If only he could spend some more time with the man...if only...

"Sho-Chan, want to have supper together?"

Aiba's eyes widened upon realising what had just came tumbling out of his mouth. Did I just ask him out for dinner, Aiba screamed internally, trying to recover from the sudden betrayal from his own mouth and tried to look as casual as possible. Peeking up through his bangs with hope that the invite would be make the man happy, Sho's bewildered expression and furrowed eyebrows was rather discouraging. Aiba could feel the regret starting to sink deep into his gut － perhaps it was too soon to say that there could be something more between them. Perhaps he was wrong.

-

Sho was caught off guard.

It was pretty rare for the members to ask each other out for a meal, seeing as to how everybody led their own lives and had other things to do. It was always a coincidence or some big event (like their 20th anniversary dinner) that brought them together; even then, it would be considered a once in a blue moon happening. Sho didn't know if wanted to cry or jump for joy. He'd been hoping to spend some time alone with Aiba - thinking about it, when was the last time they properly spent time together outside of work? - and this was the perfect opportunity to do so! His little giddy excitement was all done internally of course; Aiba's unanswered question still hanging in the air, now with the other 3 members looking over and awaiting his answer. It must've been an unnecessarily long stretch of silence, and as Sho finally got himself together to give a reply, Aiba suddenly shot up from his seat.

"Ah, it's okay, Sho-Chan! I was just suggesting it...I mean I'm sure you have other plans for tonight or...yeah. I'll, uh, just be off then" and with that, Aiba grabbed his bag, wished the others goodbye and left the changing room. It all happened so fast; Sho was about to recommend a ramen stall nearby and the next thing he knew Aiba was gone.

"Gee, if you didn't want to have supper with him you could've just politely said no instead of looking at Aiba-shi like that," a muffled opinion from the sofa made Sho turn to look at Nino, who was now looking up at him with disapproval.

"No, that's not it! I do want to have supper with him! I...I was just out of it that's all..." Sho trailed off, his cheeks turning a shade of pink. He wasn't about to go on babbling to his friends about his insufferable crush on Aiba or how he's been trying to send all sorts of signals by trying to be closer to him or how he really likes it when Aiba grabs his butt during concerts and that he really finds Aiba hot when he's sweaty and ho-

"You're doing it again," Jun chimed in, not even his black-framed glasses could hide the glint of amusement in his eyes.

"Huh? Oh, damn it..." Sho grumbled. Perhaps if he packed up fast enough, he could still catch up with Aiba! He couldn't have gotten off too far, right?

"I suggest that you hurry up then," Ohno's sleepy voice added, almost as if he read Sho's mind.

-

 

The air was chilly and many different kinds of lonely. It wasn't the first time Aiba walked out of the building alone, but it was the first time he carried a pang of sadness in his chest. Perhaps he should've anticipated that Sho would be busy tonight. Or that the sudden invite was weird －whatever it was, it didn't matter. He got into his car and drove back home.

Cue Sho running to the carpark that exact moment just in time to miss Aiba completely. Damn it, he cursed to himself. If I don't make it up to him tonight, he might hate me forever. Thinking fast, Sho whipped out his phone and prayed to the heavens that he'll get an answer. A few rings went by and Sho was starting to lose hope when relief flooded over him upon hearing a familiar, raspy ''hello?''.

"Aiba? It's Sho!''

"Yes, Sho-chan, I know it's you. I have your contact saved in my phone you know''. Whatever relief that existed within him began to vanish upon hearing Aiba's uncharacteristically monotonous reply.

"Oh, right, of course. Are...are you on the way back home?'' Sho stuttered out, suddenly being hyper aware of the way he sounded and the words he chose.

"Yeah, I am. Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah, of course! No, wait. I...''

It happened again. He couldn't get the words out. Whatever feelings and thoughts and rambling he wanted to pour out was lost in the wind, and there he stood in the carpark; alone and all kinds of upset. It's just supper, he thought to himself. Or was it? Was it just the invitation to supper that has got him so wound up? Or was it that he could no longer keep whatever feelings he had for Aiba suppressed - it was now or never, he felt. Aiba was still patiently waiting on the other line.

"I love you"

".....Eh.....?"

"I just called to say I love you. That's it. Yeah."

"Sho? Are you okay? Did you drink anything? Where are you?"

"No, wait, Aiba I'm fine. I'm not drunk or tipsy or anything like that. I just needed you to know that I love you," he took a deep breath before continuing, "I had loved you for a very long time. I know that everyone thinks that there's something going on between me and Matsujun but honestly, there's no one else that I want but you. I know I may seem like I'm good with words but every time I try to even say something properly or ask you out, I just lose every ability to function. So that's why I couldn't respond properly just now. I do want to go out to supper with you. I want to spend more time with you. I want to be with you, Masaki."

"Sho-chan, I-"

Whatever Aiba wanted to say never did reach Sho's ears. The sound of screeching tires and a loud bang before radio silence was all it took for Sho to feel the blood drain from his body. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. It couldn't be, right? There was no way... The next series of events felt like a lucid dream to Sho - he felt his hands type a message in their shared LINE group, he took a few steps to his car and leaned against it, he called his manager and asked him to drive him back home because he wasn't feeling well and then he found himself underneath the sheets of his bed. Where's Aiba? Was he okay? Does anyone know where he could be? Sho tried his best to stay awake, but the last fumes of energy he had left was failing him. Soon enough, his eyelids felt too heavy and he drifted off into a nightmare-filled sleep.

Flashes of gruesome images haunted his dreamscape; one after one, it was all of Aiba not making it. Of Aiba reaching out to him and mouthing something, but he couldn't make out what the man was trying to tell him. He tried reaching out to the man he loved, screaming his name, but nothing seemed to work. And then he heard it. The unmistakable voice that had brought him nothing but happiness for as long as he could remember.

"Sho-chan..."

-

"Sho...Sho....SHO WAKE UP!" Nino yelled at his friend who was tossing and turning in bed, murmuring Aiba's name over and over again. Sho finally jolted awake, his eyes flew open as he sat up to see a worried Nino with his arms crossed sitting on the edge of his bed. Wait a minute, he thought to himself, what's happening? Rubbing his eyes, Sho tried recalling the events of the previous night - he was filming a new episode, he was asking his manager to update his schedule, Aiba asked him out for sup-

"AIBA! Shit, shit, shit! Nino, wh-"

"Hey, hey calm down, Sho. It's alright, he's fine now. I need you to breathe and calm down okay? Can you do that for me?" Nino tried, getting up to sit next to Sho who was hyperventilating and began rubbing circles on his back. After a minute or so of gentle encouragement, Sho finally felt his breathing stabilize and the nausea that threatened to make him spill whatever was in his stomach subside.

"Better now?" Nino asked. Sho nodded, not trusting his voice. He just needed to know if Aiba is okay. How could be had been so careless as to fall asleep when...when...

"Sho, stop it. Stop overthinking okay? Aiba-shi's condition is fine now. Apparently some fucker who was drunk driving and rammed into the side Aiba's car. Lucky for him, it was the passenger seat's side instead. Still, he fractured his arm and has a few bruises but all's well. Thing is though, he couldn't remember much before the accident happened," Nino trailed off. Sho's head snapped up to look at Nino, unsure of what he was saying.

"Can't remember? What do you mean?"

"Well..." Nino begun, his voice slightly shaky, "when they found Aiba yesterday, he was unconscious and wasn't responding to the paramedics. The doctors were worried that his concussion was serious, and that he might had suffered a brain injury due to the impact." Sho tightened his grip on his bedsheets, preparing for the worst. "But Aiba woke up, and seemed fine. When the doctors asked him if he could remember what happened, he could only recall filming with us in the green room and that was it. Everything else that happened after that was wiped clean from his memory."

A wave of relief came crashing over Sho upon hearing that nothing remotely too serious had happened to Aiba. Yet, he couldn't ignore the ache in his chest when he thinks about how Aiba had no memory of what had happened before the accident. 'No, this is not the time to think about that.' Aiba's okay, and that's all that matters.  
Nino continued and said that the rest had visited Aiba earlier on in the day and were wondering where he was. "We tried calling you but you didn't pick up so I volunteered to hop on by your place to check up on you. How did it go, though? Did you manage to catch Aiba-shi before he left?". Sho could feel the tears prickling his eyes, the guilt and shame and disappointment that was swirling inside of him was threatening to consume him whole; the only thing he could so was shake his head and looked away. Nino let out a small hum, and patted Sho's shoulder before leaving him to wash up and get dressed. The car ride to the hospital felt like forever - each building that passed by were blurred by the tears that could not stop welling up in Sho's eyes, and the soft music playing on the radio became nothing but background noise.

After what felt like a lifetime, they finally reached the hospital and Sho's legs took off before Nino could even try to stop him. Sho ran up to the service counter and demanded Aiba's room number and location. The nurse on duty looked up, startled by Sho's barrage of demands but quickly got herself together and instructed Sho to the second floor where Aiba was recuperating in a private room. Sho thanked the nurse and ran off, not even concerned about coming off as rude. He just needed to see Aiba.

"Room 201...room 201...oh here it is," Sho found himself in front of a wooden door with a small translucent glass window. He could roughly make out Aiba's figure laying in the hospital bed and decided that he wouldn't stall any longer. Twisting the door knob, he muttered a soft 'pardon my intrusion' before entering and was greeted by a bandaged and tired looking Aiba. Whatever strength Sho had to put on a decent façade was left outside the door, the tears now flowing freely as he approached the hospital bed and gingerly rested his forehead on Aiba's IV-attached hand. The room was filled with the sound of Sho's sobbing and occasional 'beep' from the machines that were accompanying Aiba.

"Sho-chan, I'm fine! It's just fractured arm, I'll get better soon in no time! Why are you so upset?" Aiba asked, staring down at Sho, unsure as to why the man was sobbing uncontrollably. He gently removed his hand that Sho was leaning on and raked his hand through Sho's fluffy brown hair. 'How soft' he thought to himself. 'I didn't know he cared for me that much'. Aiba's tender action made Sho cry even harder. How was he supposed to tell Aiba everything that happened? That he didn't manage to have supper with him? That the one time he managed to find the courage to say the things he couldn't say, the feelings he'd been meaning to confess for so long; that it was lost and forgotten in the tragedy that was his inability to find the courage to be honest with Aiba and himself. That Aiba was in this state because he was a failure?

Instead of answering Aiba's question, he mustered whatever courage he had left within him and asked one back.

"Do you remember what I said to you when I called you last night?"

"Eh? You called me?" Aiba said, doing the adorable head-tilt that Sho loved so much.

"Yeah...I did. Do you remember why I called you?"

"Ah...I'm sorry Sho-Chan! I don't remember much before the accident. Was it something important?"

Sho gave Aiba a sad smile, reassuring him that it was nothing important and that he was glad that he was doing okay.

 

 

_Oh, Masaki. I called to say I Love You._

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the little piece of trivia we've gotten of Sho and Aiba going out together on the 9th of January this year! What was supposed to be a fluffy (and admittedly smutty) little recreation of that night went 180 and became this sad little piece of writing that I just wanted to share :') Also I wrote this for Sho's 37th Birthday so HAPPY BDAY SHO I LOVE YOU SORRY FOR MAKING YOU SUFFER
> 
>  
> 
> scream with me about this pair and Arashi on twitter @socksandtea


End file.
